Just to let you know, sometimes the things you say really make me speechless. Not in a bad way though. I really have no reply for it. In some way or another, i really feel that i cant understand you at times. Yeah i know that i suck at comprehending people. There's this really great desire in me to really want to fully understand you. But yeah i cant. So that sums up why sometimes i get into a confused state, and think of all the possible reasons why this happens. It's like, the things you do obviously tells me whether you're unhappy or happy. And like when you're unhappy, often i really don't know what i did or what i didn't do! It really saddens me. Yeah i know that you're a little sensitive, your emotions change easily. It would be great if i knew the reason but yeah i'm kinda expected to know.

The days go by, everyday the feeling gets stronger. But the more i read, the more i feel that I'm not up to it. I feel that I'm really not the one even if you've feelings. But don't get the wrong idea.
<3 you. Please don't be sad, irritated, angry or anything.
I'm sorry that I've caused you to go to bed having negative emotions : (

Although things are not going the way you want it

Very enjoyable week. For me that is.. Monday released at 230pm, supposed to have a match against JJC but it rained. Tuesday, i left school really early cos of my stomach ache. Wednesday i was on MC. And today i ended school at 11am. Friday to Monday HOLIDAY POWERPACKED.

Anyway, today we won JJC 2-0. A rather comfortable win which brings us forward to the quarter finals where we will meet VJC and MJC. LOL. Yeah I'm happy that we made it to the quarter finals, but deep down in my heart there's this feeling that asks me if i really feel happy. I found out that actually, i haven't really contributed to the team, maybe warming the bench though.. It really sucks to the core sitting on the bench every game. That's how i feel. But yeah i must also give a thought to the rest of the subs. But in any case, there's still next year, where I'll be playing EVERY single match as a arrogant-looking humble goalkeeper.

Hey you, I've been really missing you very badly. Y'know, both of us are really different in terms of character wise. I think we should just accept each others' views and habits, and eventually it'll just come to a point when you and i fit really nicely side by side. I'm pretty certain of that. You don't have to apologize, it isn't your fault! It's just the normal way you are, and i think i should accept it and adapt to it (: Ah, stay happy ok? Don't wanna ever see you cry or being sad.

Nights :D

Pain

On 20th April 2010, Thursday. The worst morning ever in my entire life. Let me tell you about it. It was really pain beyond anyone's imagination. My first period at 8am was chinese so i didn't need to attend it. During the next lesson, Maths lecture, after the first 10minutes i felt a slight pain in my stomach and immediately went to the toilet. Yeah i thought it was only a stomach ache. In the toilet, i began to feel pain, every second the pain grew more and more until i couldn't even handle it. Sweat began dripping down my body, my grip on my hands really tightened so hard. Seriously, at that moment i really thought of how to end the pain in my stomach. Stupid thoughts went through my mind but luckily i didn't resort to anything. I just waited to see how it went. As the pain grew, my mind was really weak and i almost fainted. I cried out to God several times, and in the end he answered me and lessened my pain till almost no more. Thank God. I was in the toilet for almost 40minutes. My legs were quite numb. When i got out of the toilet, i was still feeling very giddy and my legs were a little wobbly. Lukas yongjia and wilfred helped me to get an early leave form and so i left school with my dad, saw a doctor and now i'm comfortably at home resting. Thank God for wonderful friends ya? Now after eating my medicine i'm feeling rather fine and okay now. Yupp now i'm gonna rest for the afternoon.

Enjoy the rest of the week people :D

What a day...

Hello world.

So far I've kinda kept my promise to blog everyday huh! Hahaha only 2 days.. Anyway today was rather interesting. One of my better days, not in terms of happiness though. This morning had to meet yongjia lukas tj and wilfred for breakfast at macs at 720. Guess what? I woke up at 740 as USUAL. Then i took cab to kovan macs. Couldn't eat there peacefully. Had to take away and on the way to school eat (: Today the gp lesson was really damn rare. Cos our teacher came in like 15mins late, and we sorta had a short break and so we roamed around the school buying stuff to munch on. Then i got back my gp test, got an E grade :D and like stoned for the rest of the lesson. I closed my eyes for awhile and mrs goh called ERICC! and she looked at me. OMGOSH la keep forgetting my name and she couldn't recognise me cos of my freaking hair. Walao. Btw maths test got full marks. But alamak not counted for anything.. Sucks. Moral boosters only..

Okay skipping to the RELEASE OF PW RESULTS!! My class was at LT4 and we were all waiting so anxiously cause getting a B or C is like really the end of the world lah cos 80.8% of my cohort got A grade and ONLY 0.7% got C grade. And before getting our results, Ms liu and Mr nahar was talking to us and saying that ohhhh we musn't be sad even if we got a B or C cause it's still a good grade, and their faces were like FREAKING disappointed. Then mr nahar said, "there's no need to tell every1 individually what their grades are, cause every1 got the same grade." Logically because the number of A grades were so high, any1 could have guessed that every1 got A. But because of their sad faces, we were like ALL B AHHHH???????? But oh well. HAHA every1 got an A. Yay. Everyone was like so happy. Lol.

Soccer was great. Made a few nice brilliant saves. Preparing for next year :D But my swollen last toe still very painful LOL. Thanks YONGJIA. Y'know i feel very guilty when i'm with you. But i feel very comfortable and like normal myself, even if i don't say a word. And i kinda like that kinda feeling though. Okay i'm gonna sleep now. I hope you sleep well (;

Wake up later ah <3 Haha! Nights every1!!! (:

I'm back :D

Hello (:

What a year 2009 had been. 1 year passed so fast ya? Well, I've decided to continue blogging since i cant do homework when i am at home. So yeah might as well spend time reflecting and maybe use my blog as a memory. Lots and lots of things has happened. If you aren't that updated I'm sorry haha (:

Studies are rather well managed so far. Tests are okay but not up to expectations. Aiming so high, expected to attain it, and fail to do so. Yeah it's kinda demoralizing but oh well, I'll work really hard for the upcoming tests. Sp life is really quite okay though. Lotsa free time and can use that time to complete homework and speed ahead way in front of other people! (Y) Weakest subjects are still economics and GP. Seriously cant get economics but i know i will if i put in the effort. I guess I'm just plain lazy. My bad habit is starting already. SLEEPING. Although so much lesser from last year, but i still do have late nights and the next day I'll be darn tired. Luckily i have good friends that wake me up (and KNOW HOW TO make me stay awake). (: Thank God. North Zone is already over, came in 2nd place while NYJC won the championship. I didn't play anyway.. Hopefully next year. Nationals we started off really great. Won NUS high 3-0, ACJC 2-0. Then we lost to NYJC 2-1 and RJC 2-1. Rather unlucky games though. We'll be playing JJC on Monday and hopefully we'll win and make it through to the quarter finals. Feeling so useless on the bench in all the matches. What are the chances of anwar getting injured? Just imagine training so hard and improving so much for 1 whole year, and in the end getting taken over but some guy who recently just came into the team. Yeah okay life is unfair sometimes. Imagine next year the same thing happens. Understand how reluctant i am to quit? But giving up is not really the solution. Thanks jinghui for talking to me(: I'll train hard, heck teng, and be the best GK there is. Me and the sp soccer are going to bring SRJC to the semi finals at least.

I'm a person that doesn't really voice out my feelings, and i know that it's very bad to do so. I'll just show my emotions through my behavior like acting really sad or so. I'm sorry. After reading your blog i am quite speechless. I'm like that. I do try. But yeah i fail miserably. That's the way i am and yea i can try to change, but not to the extent that will suit you perfectly. What i say i really do mean it. No contradictions. I know for myself. It's up to you to believe. Like I've said, i don't show it at all. Sometimes i really do wonder how to juggle my time. I'm very lousy i know. So it's also very hard to understand your feelings at any point of time. You don't deserve someone who makes you cry. Even if you do cry very easily, your perfect one won't make you cry at all you understand? I don't want you to get your feelings messed up. I don't want you to be confused. I don't want you to doubt me anymore. I don't want you to keep guessing my thoughts. When you do this i really feel regrets. Like what i should have done and should not have done. I don't take you for granted. I'm serious. But anyways, life does go on. Sometimes we really have to let go of certain things. I'm really sorry. Every night i ponder and ponder and ponder, and i don't get anywhere. I feel quite useless.
Please stay happy. <3